Inner Child Therapy/Work

Featured image of the sculpture “Love” by Alexander Milov. Photo by gru.dii on Instagram

Hi everyone. I thought I would talk about Inner Child therapy/work today as I’m preparing for a workshop on this which I’m holding at Sisterhood Rising, a lovely Women’s festival on soon in Fairbridge.

It’s the modality I have found that has helped the most of my clients in the over 20 years I’ve been sharing it, plus it’s the thing that had the most impact on me since I started my own therapy about 30 years ago. And its why I still communicate with my own younger inner self often.

I first started going to seek out my own therapy when my kids became teenagers and I found I was struggling as a mum. I had not had a very normal teenage-hood myself, so really didn’t know how to respond to ‘normal’ teenage behaviour. I had always felt I had to be ‘good’ and put my parent’s emotional wellbeing before myself, so when my teenagers did not seem to do that (which I later learned was a healthy sign), I took it way too personally and reacted badly. Deep rage came up and shocked the shit out of me. And my partner and children. My only regret now is that I did not attend counselling earlier in my life and I encourage all to look at your own childhood, through counselling as one example-so that you will be clearer about your responses to your own children and loved ones.

When I attended a healing week with Heal For Life in the Eastern States of Australia, I came to learn my Inner teenager held so much sadness, grief and anger about how she had been treated. She spoke about it all for the first time, and I could feel myself as that teenager and speaking like her as I shared the unfairness of what had happened to me at that age and a loving adult listened. And I then learned how to listen to that younger part myself and how to sooth and love her.

When I see clients who are having strong responses to things happening in their life now, especially with loved ones. I ask them to close their eyes and ask themselves how old they feel. Most of the time they respond with a childhood age. And then I may invite that younger self into the room to share with us, what he or she had found so hard and how they had felt then. So often a very deep child-like need or lack comes up. Like feeling unloved, alone, scared, not good enough, not belonging, etc. all the things’ kids interpret about themselves from the way the adults around them behaved. I now know children will always take things personally, as about them, as they are looking at significant others to help them build their own sense of self. Unfortunately, this often leads to them coming to the wrong conclusions. The ways the adults responded usually had nothing to do with them. And everything to do with those adult’s own pain from childhood or other trauma. Like my rage at my teenagers. They were just normal teenagers, but my pain/trauma led me to interpret it wrongly and then respond badly.

I also teach clients how to meet their Inner Child (or children) in a safe place in their imagination and have conversations and find ways that you may comfort or support. Essentially I’ts one of the most powerful ways to love yourself! My Inner Child lets me cuddle and hug her when needed (in my imagination) and she tells me I need to dance or go out into nature when I’m not so happy.

And the ultimate aim is that our adult self can become the parent the child always needed. So you can reparent yourself. Your always available to give your Inner Child the love, support and calm advice she needs. It’s important to realise-No one else will ever be able to do that, how ever hard you wish someone else to do it! And we usually look towards our intimate partners to do it, don’t we? And then get so hurt when they can’t.

Anyway if you want to find out more, give me a call or sms on 0401348213 or email on runfreepractice@gmail.com.

Wishing you all well!

Joyce